Every time I think I’ve reached some sort of peak of enlightenment, emerged thru the trials of darkness, I think, “thank goodness I won’t have to do that again.”

Cue laughing face emoji.

What I have learned thru my tender delusion is that life moves in cycles. I used to think life was a mountain peak with a goal of reaching the top, but what I’ve learned is that it’s a whole goddamn mountain range. Up and down, up and down, up and down. 

Those blessed moments at the top of the peaks are exhilarating, blissful, full of light. I used to live exclusively for those moments, in pursuit of those peaks, because I mistakenly believed I could hold on to them forever. 

And, if we were spirits, perhaps we could. But we are not spirits, we are not even human beings having a spiritual experience – as Pierre Teilhard de Chardin has famously said, “we are spiritual beings having a human experience.” 

We are both/and. Both spirit and human, both energy and density, both light and dark.

The more we learn to make peace with the dark times, the more we can appreciate the light times. 

The more we can heal and integrate our own dark shadowy parts, the more we can live in the bright wholeness of our being.

RIP, Baby. 

Life is born out of darkness; we all begin in the cave of the womb. But then we hit the ground running and spend our whole lives running away from the dark.

Or are we running towards it?

Does some part of us remember a time when we were at peace with darkness, at peace with uncertainty, at peace with not knowing what was coming next, or when it was coming? 

Does some part of us remember the comfort of silence, of stillness, of not doing? 

Do we now consciously or unconsciously think, if I could just get everything done, everything accomplished, everything in order, I could be at peace again?

And you will. You will be at peace again when you die. But is that the goal?

Spend our whole lives running away from (or towards?) the darkness until we can once again rest in peace? RIP, baby. 

But maybe there’s a better way. A way to appreciate that whole cyclical nature of things while we are here. Perhaps more than a mountain range, it’s like the tides of the ocean. Light and dark, up and down, ebb and flow.

Death, Taxes…and Chaos.

Maybe we are finally on the precipice of a new kind of collective future. I certainly hope that the stars will align this time. Or maybe we tell ourselves that over and over each decade in a hopeful delusion.

Perhaps on the surface of life there is always chaos. Perhaps that’s the only real constant (death, taxes…and chaos?) and we’ll feel better once we accept that life contains 31 flavors of chaos. 

Perhaps the only real chance of a peaceful future comes from within. Learning to tap into an undercurrent that runs just below the surface. Because beneath the undercurrent of chaos there is order, there is stillness, there is beauty. 

It’s just really damn hard to see it sometimes. 

We see the same in nature. There are fires, hurricanes, tornados, blizzards that ravage across the surface of the earth. But there is also an ever-present undercurrent of sweetness. Of order, and balance and harmony: these calamities eventually give way to new life. 

This is the magic of the dark times. 

These times that cause us to stop, reassess, look inward. These times where we are inspired – or compelled rather – to do “the work.” Sure, we SEE the growth in the light times. It’s why we all love the abundance of summer. Finally, something is happening! Something is growing! Something is alive! 

But we forget where it all began. 

It’s usually not the light times when we’re inspired to pause, look within, heal, change our path, dramatically course-correct to pursue our dreams and passions. It’s not the light times when we’re compelled to listen to the whispering or screaming voice of our soul. 

We do this work in the dark. 

A Goddamn Superpower.

So, what comes next? A grand invitation to dance with the darkness. To do what most people cannot. To integrate both light and dark, both spirit and form, and open yourself up to a splendid wholeness.

Because fearing the dark? That’s a lie we’ve been told.

There is so much potential available to us in the dark. The seed, the womb – life begins in the dark. 

We need the dark times for healing. And we need the light times for growing. They work together. And they do not work well without each other. 

If we’re not working with the dark, we’re not healing. And if we’re not healing, we’re not evolving. And if we’re not evolving, we’re essentially committing to keeping things the same. Individually and as a collective.

While we see the light as the energy of the Divine Masculine, the dark has been quietly waiting to be rediscovered, reintegrated, rewoven into the fabric of our being. The dark is the energy of the Divine Feminine. It is not just the opposite of light; it is the bringer of life itself. Regardless of gender, we all have both of these energies available to us; it is the integration that makes us whole.

While the light allows us to see more clearly, it is the dark that allows us to feel more deeply. Learning to dance with the dark, to flow with the chaos, to find beauty in the shadow isn’t to be feared – it is a goddamn superpower.

Here for the Humaning. 

Sometimes the dark is a personal season we experience individually. Sometimes it’s a whole collective chapter we experience together (2020 and beyond, I’m looking at you). When we look back in history – collectively or individually – we see these chapters, these seasons. Light and dark. Up and down. Ebb and flow. 

If you’re in a dark chapter, you are not alone. Please know that you haven’t done anything wrong. Even (maybe especially) if you’re already on “the spiritual path.” It can be so easy to think it’s our fault for encountering the darkness, that we should know how to hold on to the light.  

Holding the light does not guarantee that the path won’t be dark. Sometimes the brightest lights get placed in the darkest dark – so we can grow. We need bright lights to illuminate the darkest times for others – and we get there by going through our own dark times. 

Even a path of light is rich with illness, calamity, trials and tribulations. How can we find any beauty in this chaos? Instead of understandably but perpetually chasing after the light, we find ways to laugh with the dark, to cry with the dark, to dance with the dark. 

If you’re in a dark chapter currently, have ever been in a dark chapter previously, or want some insurance for possible future dark chapters – you have a home at Enlightened, Apparently. 

We’re the kind of people who like to hear about what’s hard, what’s stupid, what’s annoying and sucks (there’s a lot). We want to scream and then cry and then laugh and then dance around on unicorn stick horses wearing silly hats. You don’t have to pretend here. We are here for the humaning. 

Light and dark have been estranged for a long time. If we can learn to marry the two, weaving them together like a beautiful tapestry individually and collectively…I think that we can certainly hope for a brand-new kind of future.